Saturday 19 November 2016

Into the Wild - Blog Post


As I left Jersey with memories of nephew hugs and familial harmony, I focused on an important step in my journey to becoming the independent self-sufficient woman I wanted to fall in love with. I had decided that I was going to a festival, and luckily for me some of the loveliest women on this planet wanted to come along for the entertainment. My housemate and I had spent a fun-filled evening the week before reclaiming our independence by cashing in at the sales, as both of us lost our camping gear from our respective break-ups, and we were ready to take Sussex by storm and enter the wild.  

On the Friday evening we sat together in the Tibetan café as the sun set. My friend pulled out the Zen Osho Tarot pack and all four of us took a card for the weekend. I chose, 'The Rebel' and sat with what the card meant for me. I understood it to mean that I needed to follow my intuition and decide what was best for me, so I made a pledge to only do what resonated, even if that meant going solo at times.

Throughout Saturday I dipped in and out of workshops, with and without my friends, joining what appealed to me. There was a new workshop listed that hadn’t been on the timetable, it was about magnetizing love in our lives. As cringe worthy as the workshop title suggested, my intuition told me to attend. I asked my friends if they wanted to come but all of them found something else that was more in alignment with their journeys.

I went to the workshop and the facilitator spoke about the unconscious needy energy we transmit when with a possible person who we are having or want a relationship with. She spoke about how this stems from our hurt inner child and how by healing him or her we would be able to work on our own inner happiness whilst simultaneously working on manifesting the type of adult relationship we wanted. She worked with us on different processes to help heal and then manifest. After the workshop I felt very emotional and realised there were areas of my life I had been neglecting. 

Since the workshop, I continued to use the processes for healing and manifesting a man who would be committed, willing to grow, and equal me on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual planes. I even booked an appointment to see her for a 1:1 appointment and together we helped to clear much of the debris of my past so I could fashion the new into my life. 

She stated to me, ‘You will find love again.’
  ‘I hope so,’ I replied.
  ‘I know so,’ she told me.

As the evening drew on and night appeared, I began to grow tired and left my friends before midnight to sleep. The next morning I awoke to stories and experiences I had missed out on during the night and felt bad that I had followed my intuition of sleeping and resting my soul after a full day. However, I had woken up refreshed and early and carried on attending the various workshops over the course of the day, and soon felt excited about the learning ahead.

In the afternoon I walked over to my friends as they finished the Tai-Chi class, hoping to find out what they were planning to do. Neither of them could decide and I saw the tent was filling up again for the next workshop.

  'What's on now?'
  'It's the Energy Sex workshop.'
  'You're kidding, right?' and started laughing, thinking about all our WhatsApp conversations the weeks before, joking about what an Energy Sex workshop could mean. 

Both of my friends decided they needed to find sustenance after their class and wanted to leave but I was curious to know more. When I sat down a girl was next to me but when I opened my eyes after the first meditation I saw that she had also disappeared.

I was alone.

But I stayed.

Like the rebel that I am.

We went through different exercises where we needed to work on various stages of the masculine and feminine, and then she asked us to stand in front of people and focus on our different chakras. She asked us to look into their eyes and then notice if there was any movement in our base, heart or third eye chakras and whether we were attracted, repelled or wanted to stand alongside that person. We spent a few minutes doing this and although I felt much in my heart and third eye, nothing was happening in my base. I concluded that my base chakra was dead and I would never feel sexual energy for a human being again!

Towards the end of the workshop, the facilitator said to us that we needed to make sure we did the last part of the workshop with someone we would want to do this with as we would be working with them for 15 minutes. When she said this I felt a slight sense of panic, it was almost like a, ‘I might be the last person picked in the team’ situation as I knew nobody in the tent, and I was also worried that I might meet someone who repelled, or was repelled by, me and the 15 minutes would be interminable.  

I looked around the tent, in the milieu of people, and I saw in front of me two women allowing a gorgeous man with dark hair and a beard to walk between and away from them and in my general direction. He wasn’t looking at me, more at the floor, so I bent down to catch his attention.

   ‘Would you like to..?’ 

He looked at me, nodded and agreed. 

We sat down in front of each other and clarified our positions, he said he would take on the masculine role and I agreed that I wanted to be the feminine, and then we started looking into each other’s eyes - I stared into his hazel greens and he into my hazel browns. 

People around us were still talking for a period of time and after a while he asked me, ‘Are we supposed to be talking?’
  ‘I don’t think so...’ I replied.

So we remained silent and kept staring.

The facilitator said something I didn’t catch and I asked him to repeat what she said. He said that some people could adjust their positions in a way that established couples would find comfortable – more entwined and intimate. I nodded and knew we wouldn’t do that. We remained as we were, sitting cross legged, not touching, with our hands on our own legs. Whilst we continued to stare into each other’s eyes, the room quietened. 

And the process began.

The facilitator asked the feminine to pull energy from the base chakra and then bring the energy up the spine and push it out through the heart. The masculine was to pull the energy from the heart and then push it down their spine and out through the base chakra. This was to keep a cycle of energy moving between us. 

As we had been working on our chakras I could feel the energy moving very easily from my base to my heart and I worked conscientiously on pulling and pushing the energy in a free flow. At first it felt a little laborious, like learning a new skill. Yet after a period of time, I could feel his energy pushing into me and it started to feel natural to let it flow to my heart and back into him. Both of us felt the build up of energy, physically our pupils enlarged and we became warmer, at times we smiled at one another as the feeling became stronger and stronger until I felt like we were encased in a bubble. 

The facilitator said that if we wanted to adjust our positions we could and he asked if he could sit closer. I agreed. He opened his legs and placed his feet just behind my knees. I remained cross legged. Without touching we were sitting in a more intimate way and the energy continued to build between us until it felt intoxicating. 

At the end of the session, we were asked to thank each other and, as clumsy as I am, I went to hug and almost fell on him. He caught and hugged me back and then said, ‘Would you like to explore this? Would you like to go for a chai?’

I wondered about the rapidity of manifestation, said yes and collected my stuff.

So back in the Tibetan café we sat and drank almond chai. We asked each other questions and our enthusiasm grew as we realised how much we had in common. We then interspersed words with moments of just sitting and looking into one another’s eyes, continuing to experience the energy that circled us. After we left the café I noticed it was getting dark and asked if he would mind if we could meet later as I had to go to my tent and get my torch and warmer clothes. 

Later we met again and he asked me where I would like to go. I asked if we could head into the woods and so we walked into the darkness – walking and talking, learning about each other. Somehow, I have a stigmatism in one of my eyes which means I cannot see in the dark very well, so he guided me deeper into the darkness until we came upon a yurt. We thought it was a meditation yurt but there was a family in there. We found a singing bowl and took turns to try and play it and then we found some sage at the altar so burned it and smudged one another. 

At first we spoke to the family but soon we became immersed in the energy we had created and were sitting, vibing off one another, eager to learn more, and he frequently kept touching my leg as if to make sure I was real. After a while a couple turned up and said the yurt was theirs and they were returning to bed. He asked them about the yurt and the couple gave tips on creating the strongest structure and then we wished them a good night.

We soon found ourselves in a small, romantic alcove filled with trees draped in blue fairy lights. A throne was built there, so we sat next to each other and carried on talking and touching, exchanging electric energy, potent chemistry and familiar words. My body was responding in ways that had long lain dormant and I knew then that my base chakra hadn’t died! I also silently thanked myself for having a proper sleep the night before so I would be refreshed to experience this important night.

I stroked his lion-maned hair, wrapped up in a bun, and his bearded face. He touched my leg and after a while I pulled his face closer to mine, drew him to me and kissed him. At first he was hesitant, slow, unsure, but as I wrapped myself around him I felt the force of his passion behind his lips. Enmeshed and entwined, like the established couples in the Energy Sex workshop, we wrapped ourselves in a gorgeous haze of energy, limbs, words, touch, taste, branches, blue fairy lights and darkness.

To learn more about Dakini Cat's great work, check out her website here: www.dakinicat.co.uk 


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Saturday 12 November 2016

Love - Blog Post


In the wake of the revolution that is happening in America, I feel ripples of it amongst my own. So much shock, pain, anger but most of all... fear. We huddled together at work and wondered about the implications of the next four years, and how Trump’s decision making will affect us.

I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw posts depicting surprise at the result – some people shared their fear using humour, others provided dire predictions, some recalled the rise of Nazi reign in Germany and the startling similarities occurring now in the US. Some of my US friends expressed their pain and what it meant to be waking up to a new world order they didn’t vote for. I couldn’t find any happiness that was shared amongst my companions and colleagues that morning.

I then thought about those who would be overjoyed and happy, about those Americans who thought Trump ruling their country is good idea and marvelled at the strength of their ability to manifest. We all know in reality more Americans voted for Clinton, but that she lost due to the electoral college process, yet, despite that, I know that everyone who got up and voted Trump wants what I want – happiness.

When I see people make a choice to vote, I believe they are operating at the peak of their consciousness and are striving to create what they believe will be a place that represents them and their future generations. Obviously, the disconnect is in the way we go about obtaining these goals. Whether Trump will deliver what they think they have voted for remains to be seen but it led me to think about dependence and inter-dependence and how we are all connected on this earth.

On a global scale we have allowed a culture of Trump and Clinton, and others like them, to be created and condoned. We create our own reality and have allowed a divisive America to rise as a superpower and reign over countries that do not toe its line. Not that there was much of a choice between Clinton or Trump, with regards to an enlightened leader raising global consciousness, but by voting Trump as President, America seems to have allowed an even more divisive, individualised, exclusive power to gain power and reign over them and affect the rest of the world state.

After a while I wondered how I can operate knowing that a man like Trump is most likely going to create further unhappiness, even in his electorate, and the possible dystopian implications of that for the rest of the world. It seems this was a growing thought mushrooming across the world as I saw my Facebook feed start to change. What I saw is an overwhelming need for the individual to take their responsibilities and values seriously, and hold on to them in times of great uncertainty.

My peers, colleagues and friends soon started to heed the call of love. As individuals it became clear that we shall surrender and accept that which we are unable to change but we could continue to work on ourselves and hold on to our values – we shall remain in love, be loving and inclusive. And maybe, just maybe, because of such a leader, the rising tide of consciousness will still find a way to grow.

My passionate lion-maned man, so warrior-esque in his design, is heeding his duty to provide a space for sanctuary. In these unstable times it's almost comforting that he tells me over and over how in this world he must construct a space for people to heal, love and grow so they can create higher versions of themselves, and positively impact on the world around us. He is calling me to be a part of his land, people and mission – he wants me to entwine my power in his so we can demonstrate love in action. I thought about the children we will create and the world we would be passing on to them, and what it will mean to them if I also answer his calling of love. At the moment, in these uncertain times, all I can do right now is surrender, accept and allow love to guide me.

So I shall leave you with my gesture - a bird visiting Bernie Sanders at one of his rallies - watching this and seeing his smile alone is worth it. I hope you all can have a smile that big today and remain in love, whoever you voted or didn't vote for.

Peace. 

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Thursday 27 October 2016

Inner Shaman Adventures - Cacao Ceremony 18


Cacao calls me in my dreams.

I sat in The Shaman's space for the last time this year and reflected on the journey I have undertaken. As the autumnal feminine grows, the nights become darker and warmth travels to Southern climes I realised I felt a stronger need to be in my own space to sit and listen to nature's call.

I came to cacao with the intention to integrate what I experienced and to gain further clarity on my new plans for the next year. I pulled the card, 'Experiencing' and I saw this woman who was revelling in the present moment and in communion with a tree. I understood that a part of integration is to be in the moment, realise my part in nature and to always heed her call.

I lay down to journey and fell in and out of consciousness. As I came back into consciousness I felt a complete sense of peacefulness and nothing else and realised that experiencing is about appreciating the moment that I am in. As I lay there I let go of the expectation that Old Mother Cacao would join me. There was no need to force the situation.

  'The flow is the plan.'

Suddenly, I had a vision of me with a baby at my breast and feeling a complete sense of calmness. It flashed away again and I was in darkness.

Soon after Old Mother Cacao arrived and she gave me a pipe. We sat in front of each other and took turns to blow the smoke on each other's body, providing our interaction with the creation of a sacred space. Old Mother Cacao was starting to teach me the ways of a Shaman.

  'Soon you will start to work with plants differently. However, don't forget ayahuasca's lesson. Write. Integrate. Speak. Remember. Implement.'

I nodded and knew that my new job and relationship had taken up so much of my head space I had no time to sit with the work ayahuasca had given me.

  'You need to plan Peru. It is no coincidence that so many people want to sit in the circle of the Mamitas in Peru with you.'

I saw a vision of him, some of my friends and my sister sitting in a circle in front of the Mamitas in Peru - waiting for the medicine to take effect. To make this vision happen I would need to focus steadily on my own goals as I know that I have a tendency to spread myself too thinly and try and encompass all the needs, priorities and goals of others.

The Shaman asked us to bring our future selves in front of us. In came a heavily pregnant me, she waddled towards me and said, 'I'm so proud of you. You are going to make a great mother. Remain in the flow and surrender. Don't worry if life does not work in the order you have wished it to be - life will manifest as it is meant.'

I pulled the last guidance card, which was 'The Fool', the card had a picture of a man holding a bunch of flowers stepping off a cliff. The description says, 'The card indicates that if you trust your intuition right now, your feeling of the 'rightness' of things, you cannot go wrong. Your actions may appear 'foolish' to others, or even to yourself, if you try to analyse them with the rational mind. But the 'zero' place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.'

I am ready to be guided by my feelings of what feels right.

Aho. 



You can find more adventures in Shamanism here: Inner Shaman Adventures

Cacao Ceremonies facilitated by Rebekah Shaman

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Sunday 23 October 2016

Inner Shaman Adventures - Cacao and Hawthorn Ceremony 17


**Warning - long post**

I arrived at the retreat centre alive, alight and flying. Ibiza and Jersey had been overwhelming in the most positive ways but as soon as I returned on English soil I realised I hadn't grounded and could not feel the presence of my body. Energy was swirling within and my brain couldn't settle - I was unable to concentrate on the moment and be fully present. The vessel I had been given in this lifetime felt unable to contain me.

I had so much to integrate from the festival, travelling, yoga, the space I had given myself, the ayahuasca and Ibizan sun. I also had so much to complete as the next stages of my journey unfolded and my manifestations were in harvest. I jumped from one situation to the next in the most unbalanced and uncoordinated ways, my clumsiness reaching new heights.

I knew I needed to retreat, to come back within, to fully centre in on the new energies and realisations I was embodying and integrating. I was so grateful that I had booked the Shamanic weekend months in advance so I could integrate my new world order.

The first night we drank mugwort under the autumnal dark moon beside the fire, all of us contemplating the weekend ahead. As I sat, still vibrating with ayahuasca, I relished the union of her and mugwort in my veins. The darkness of the sky settled and the stars came out to play, in silence I watched the fire lick the air and reach out to warm my body.

I was ready for cacao. I needed her to help me start the work.

I told the Shaman that my intention was to ground myself after the onslaught of last month and to figure out what to do with the new in my life.

Aho.

The card I received was 'Thunderbolt' - the picture of someone meditating as the world around them experienced destruction. I could see that was me watching my world completely sweep itself into the new but that in order to benefit I needed to remain calm.

The Shaman had used water that had been steeped in hawthorn and sunlight and mixed this in the with Shamanic dose of cacao. Somehow the hawthorn took the slight edge of bitterness away. Both plant medicines work on the heart and the healing of emotional wounds and somehow I felt there was still some healing I needed to achieve in order to fully take advantage of the changes life was throwing my way. I was able to drink more than I was used to. I drank my fill and lay down.

Old Mother Cacao appeared and I said, 'I have met a man and I don't know what to do.'

  'Darling, stay strong. You are a woman now and in the last year and a half have a learned a new way of relating. Remain steadfastly firm in your womanhood. You come from a long line of women who were very strong, but also limited by the men in their lives. In this lifetime, you are here to break that cycle. It is no coincidence that you and your sisters embody an independence the women in your bloodline could have only wished for. You are to be inter-dependent, not dependent. He is a piece of your puzzle. We brought him to you because he could be a stable foundation from which you spring from and grow. You will push each other on to new paths.'

Settled in the peaceful consistency of singledom, I had become used to independence, to the joys of living and loving myself alone. The predictability and effortlessness of waking up and being with myself felt like a natural state of being and suddenly life decided to throw me this lion maned curveball. This man had left spasmodic disturbances in his wake and rearranged a new world order for me to continuously practice my continued journey of surrender. He excites and frightens me at the same time and this, spinning with the work ayahuasca has initiated within me, I felt at a loss with how to embody the new.

  'Your gift was your heartbreak, in that space you not only survived but you flourished. Use it to remind you that you will continue to grow and learn, even in the most adverse circumstances. There is no need to be afraid - even if this relationship fell apart it would be a gift for your growth. You have nothing to fear from this man - only more lessons to learn. Give each other the gift of time and allow the path to open up naturally. Do not force anything - everything will be okay even when you think it's not.'

  'Realise what you want. But don't forget your path.'

Ayahuasca had summarised my path and called me a Shamanic Yogini, a description that encapsulated both the discipline and wildness within. She had told me that I am not to be defined by any relationship, again Old Mother Cacao said to me.

  'Darling, you will be a partner and a mother, but first and foremost you are a Shaman and you will follow that path always, it is innate within you. You will open your retreat centre and provide sanctuary for others who are in need of space. You have come so far and embodied so much, the universe can see that you are working hard - the tools for what you want to achieve are already within.'

Old Mother Cacao then transformed into Maestra Ynez, one of the Mamitas from my Ayahuasca ceremonies. She sat in front of me with her pipe and blew smoke around and all over me. I sat in a cloud of tobacco and was told that I am protected.

  'Smudge yourself regularly. You are very open right now. Protect yourself.'

I felt such all consuming love... such metta for myself, the Mamitas, this man, my people and for the Shaman. My heart opened and bloomed with such intensity I felt tears spring and flow. I saw my women around me, my sisterhood, and felt blessed with their strength and love. I realised how they reinforced and supported my path as we walked together towards surrender.

Then a memory of waking up after my ayahuasca ceremony appeared. Ape, Marie and I woke up at the same time. We looked at each other, smiled and then started laughing together. We all held hands and in that moment I realised we are all family.

My future self came to me - she was calm and stable. She said to me, 'Don't worry, darling. Remain strong and in your truth. You are in flow and life will happen.'

Aho.


You can find more adventures in Shamanism here: Inner Shaman Adventures

Cacao Ceremonies facilitated by Rebekah Shaman

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Tuesday 18 October 2016

Birth - Blog Post


Normally when I write a blog post I just write about one thing that has happened. I will focus on the incident or feeling, drill it down to see the effect it has had and then look at how I will incorporate it into my life going forward... But this last month and a half has brought such a whirlwind of change and connection into my world that I want to capture it before it becomes my new world order. I guess the next series of blog posts will be focusing on each aspect of the change that has occurred in such a short space of time, so I apologise now for my indulgence!

August was heady with friendship and conversation as I bounced from one lovely person to the next, allowing our words to drift over the river Thames, which then took me across the Channel to my rock in the sea. I bathed in companionship and family and received a text from my sister in law, saying that she was willing her son to arrive so his Zia would be able to meet him. 

Past midnight my phone buzzed, I looked at the screen and saw that my brother texted, 'Her waters have broken!'

Unable to contain my excitement, I peeked inside my mother's room, but I could see sleep had already claimed her for the night so left her in peace. I then peered into my father's room, the dog barked furiously as I entered her domain, so my Dad lifted his head. 
  'Her waters have broken!' I whispered excitedly.
  'He'll come tomorrow,' he said calmly, like a man who has experienced four children of his own, and then he and the dog promptly went back to sleep. 

I sat in the spare room with adrenalin rushing through me as I thought about another being entering this world and the journey he would have with my brother and sister in law that night, and the many nights to come. I marvelled at the miracle of birth and fully felt joy in the knowledge that my family would grow and be abundant. I was excited to meet my nephew and felt such deep gratitude that I had chosen the right day to be there and a part of the experience. 

I also wondered at the transformation of my brother and how I have watched him since birth as a baby, turn into a child and then grow into teenager and a man. I realised that I now had the privilege to watch this gentle and gorgeous man become a father and grow with love, as his world takes on new meanings.

Life brought a new being into this world, ready to start his own journey of love.

I can't wait to see what happens...


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Monday 22 August 2016

Choose Your Own Adventure - Blog Post


Being single is a bit like those choose your own adventure books. 

As September creeps in and the slightest chill in the evenings beckons, I know that my own season of adventure is upon me. Somehow September has become my month of choice. This time last year I was moving home, buying a new bike and heading to Barcelona... 

This time is so much more – I have created my own Magical Mystery Tour to include Jersey, a festival with my sisterhood, a Cacao ceremony with my tribe, a dieta of my own, 10 days in glorious Ibiza where I will practice yoga daily, lie on the beach and sit in the circle of the Mamitas and my familia once again. Then back to my roots in Jersey before rounding up with a weekend with the Shaman as I integrate all I have done with one magical month. 

I find myself pulsing with excitement just contemplating it, thinking about the space I am creating for myself.  

I remember in the Ayahuasca ceremony when I asked her who I was, she responded, 'You are what's left after you die.' In my deepest meditations and brightest bliss, I have touched upon what that could mean. I know that I am much more than this body that holds me and this collection of data that I call my mind. I know beyond what I call me there is an awareness I can access. 

Since I have been ill I have been so much more aware of the vulnerabilities of my body and have again started meditating daily. My mornings start with the familiar voice of Sadhguru as he tells me, 'I am not the body, I am not even the mind' and somehow I am learning to distance my complex compulsions for a few seconds and find... space. I am realising finding space has become just as an exciting adventure for me!  

Recently, as I was driving back to my parent's home, suddenly I felt something in me say, 'Don't grasp on to anything'. My whole being relaxed into the motion of the car, the movement of the steering wheel, the rhythm of the traffic lights and the voices on the radio. I allowed the world to just be and simultaneously, it gave me the permission to do the same; all that was me just faded away.

The moments of awareness, the space inside the chaos and the feeling of stepping into the new... I am loving this new part of my life. September? Bring it on!

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Sunday 21 August 2016

Travellers at Dusk - Poem



Sitting amongst the travellers of dusk
The husk
but not it’s juice
dried from the scorching sun

Sitting amongst the travellers of dusk
The musk
of sweat and spice
their skin soaked from the air

Sitting amongst the travellers of dusk
The dusk
the mystery
the implied dream lives on.


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Sunday 14 August 2016

Inner Shaman Adventures - Cacao Ceremony 16


I have lost my voice.

Not metaphorically or symbolically. I seriously and truly heard my voice become this deep husky baritone on Monday before it faded to nothing on Tuesday.

By Saturday, the sound of my high pitched Jersey infused utterances became a mere memory and so began my apprenticeship in the art of loud whispering and dramatic facial gestures accompanied by coughing, sneezing and feverish panic. I was fortunate that in six days my body had recovered enough so I was able to find my way to the Shaman's circle and hear the wisdom of Old Mother Cacao.

We went around the room and stated our intentions. I whispered, 'Hi, I have lost my voice...' and then out of nowhere I said, 'I have come to find it again!'

And then I whispered my original intention, 'I also want to look seriously at my priorities regarding my career as at the moment as I am so confused.' Aho.

The Shaman placed the cards in the middle of the room and spread them out and asked us to pick a card, of course the only card I was ever going to pick was, 'Silence'.

I know I am not alone when I say my current job isn't working for me. I have started rethinking my personal reasons for becoming a social worker and whether I want to carry on in the statutory sector or be more creative in my approach.

Recently, I have been thinking about a conversation I had with my sister, about if she was ambitious. She stated to me, 'I am not ambitious but I like to be known for doing things well.' I sat with that for a while and agreed with her statement. I have never been ambitious. I am not hungry to rise in management or earn vast amounts of money, but I like to be thought of as a person who can do things well, and with integrity. I am starting to think it's not possible to do that in my current job anymore.

I drank in as much cacao as I could, resisted the feelings of rising nausea the taste invokes and lay down to listen to the silence.

She spoke to me, 'You are sick because you are in dis-ease. You are run down and dealing with a constant source of underlying stress. You are not born to cope with large amounts of stress, you are much happier when your job requires less from you so you can devote your energies to the creative.'

  'You are born to be imaginative and experimental - whether that is in your career or personal life. Honey, you are going to die, you may as well enjoy the journey from womb to ashes. Do what you are passionate about, what makes you feel alive. There is not enough time for the mundane.'

I sat beside Old Mother Cacao and came up with reasons why I should stay in my job. I have already trained to be a social worker... What if there isn't the right job for me..? What if I can't make enough money..?

She said to me, 'Who do you want to be? Just a Social Worker?'
I replied, 'Well, no, not just a Social Worker...'

  'You are a multi-faceted human being. You have a list of things you would like to achieve. Who cares if you are or are not called a Social Worker. You want to write, become a yoga teacher, grow in yoga and shamanism - live your life holistically. Find a job that is in alignment with the flow of your life. Follow your own heart.'

Out of the journey, we were asked to pull a card and I received, 'Letting go.' As I looked at the card I saw water drops fall from the leaf back into the pond - back to the source. I saw that I needed to let go of my identity as a Social Worker so I could find the job that is right for me; where I am given the opportunity, time and resources to do it well. I know that when I let go of who I think I am, who I really am is allowed to shine through.

Aho.


You can find more adventures in Shamanism here: Inner Shaman Adventures

Cacao Ceremonies facilitated by Rebekah Shaman

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Saturday 30 July 2016

Frustrations of a Woman Living in Bangkok - Poem



A stranger at home
but I am not alone
when I have my self
for company.
Nothing is free in this city
except the smiles on the street.
Spirituality is denied me
The monks focus
on my femininity,
not on me.
It’s culturally binding.
Buddha had no part
in its making.
Why is it I want
what is not
open to me?

A place at the feet
Of those who know more
Than they teach
Windows leading on to paths
On to roads
Pushing me out
Onto dirty canal boats
But I dodge and shy away
From the barefoot orange
That walk the streets
I just look
At my uninteresting feet
Baking in the dust and heat
Wondering if they’ll ever
Be washed by
Dhamma’s all-seeing.



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Picture taken by me in Bangkok, Thailand.