Inner Shaman Adventures - Cacao Ceremony 11

I walked back into the Shaman's circle - I started to notice that I am making friends with the people who hear the call of cacao, all of us searching for more... We greeted each other and asked how we had been and I love that I am becoming a part of a larger community. 

The Shaman asked me my intention and I requested further help from cacao to support me in my journey of surrender. Aho.

I picked the card 'Travelling' and saw a person walking on their path in the mountains, and although there is cloud around the figure, the sun is also shining. Somehow I have started to reconnect with the feeling that every step of my life is sacred and this journey between life and death is a pilgrimage. I could also see that my next stage is becoming clearer and I have started to surrender to life as it really is rather than how I would like it to be.

After drinking as much as I can of her bitterness, I laid down to journey. She came into the clearing and I sat calmly in front of her - woman to woman.

  'You have closed a door. Now is the time to let the new in. Allow yourself to be in the flow.'

She showed me a new wardrobe filled with clothes I hadn't seen before, for me to wear. As I put on the clothes I realised I felt different, yet more authentic, as they reflected who I am at this stage in my life. 

  'You're a woman now. Feel womanly and dress like a woman. Be proud of your feminine spirit.'

I saw myself getting rid of old clothes that no longer served or represented me in this stage of my journey.

  'I can see you have let go of fear, anxiety and confusion; now you have space to create anew. Now you have surrendered, the world can open up to you. It has been waiting for you to make space in your heart.'

  'All the plans you are creating are starting to come to fruition. You are saving, building on connections and exploring the world around you. Now you can concentrate on your vision and what you want to create in your life - your writing, trip to Peru, yoga teacher training, studying for your job and this ongoing spiritual journey you embarked on lifetimes ago...

 

 ...And there is more, so much more, the world wants to give you. Surrender to this process and allow beautiful changes to take place.'

I felt intense tingling at the back of my head for a long period of time, it felt wonderful and clearing.

After the journey, I pulled the card, 'Projections' and was confused by this. The Shaman said, 'Now is the time to let go of how I see others and how others see me.' I realised I needed to remain committed to seeing life as it really is.

This is a little of what Osho says about projections: 'Surrender is always total. That is why trust was required and always will be required in initiation. Trust is required as a total condition, as a total requirement. And the moment you surrender totally, things begin to change; now you cannot go back to your dream life. This surrendering shatters the whole projection, the whole projecting mind, because this projecting mind is tethered to the ego, it cannot live without the ego. The ego is the main centre of it, the base. If you surrender, you have surrendered the very base. You have given up completely.' Osho

You can find more adventures in Shamanism here: Inner Shaman Adventures

Cacao Ceremonies facilitated by: http://www.rebekahshaman.com/

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B- Part 7 - Story

Part 1: B- Part 1

Part 2: B- Part 2
Part 3: B- Part 3
Part 4: B- Part 4 

Part 5: B- Part 5

Part 6: B- Part 6

We retire to our beds. Kairo and I, unable to sleep easily, we drift in and out of consciousness. In a restless doze, I picture Sadie in a red dress twirling further away from me. She becomes a dot in the distance and my feeble legs are not strong enough to reach her. I call out her name, which jolts me back to my bed, to a worried Kairo and stillness. I try to ask Kairo for a cup tea, he understands, gets up and leaves the room. I prop myself up and stare into space, scared of the images I had just seen. Kairo enters the room and hands me a cup. I let the steam float and disappear into my skin. My chin is slightly damp as I hold the cup towards my chest, resting it on the covers below. My mouth is dry but the liquid is too hot, I pass my tongue over my lips in an attempt to regain my speech. Kairo gets into bed and looks at me. He asks me what is wrong. I nod my head and raise my arm in a little effort to make him wait. Kairo waits.

After a while, I sip at my tea and start to tell Kairo about the events at Simta’s party and of the dream I had about Sadie. I tell him that I worry about Sadie, that she might fall in love too soon and make the mistake of rushing her life. In B-, those who usually decide to marry before 30 years old usually leave the village and never return. It is not the village that pushes the couple away for the village people do love first and foremost. But the couple usually choose to take a different path to those who live in B- and find they are more comfortable in cities where marriage laws are less important.

For Sadie, a love relationship could be harmful to her life in B- for she has no money or possessions and Kairo and I cannot accommodate another person comfortably in our house. At sixteen years old, Sadie has yet to learn about herself in great depth. Should she get involved in a love relationship the consequences might hinder her own personal development.

We drink our tea together and chat about the evening’s festivities, preparing ourselves for another attempt at sleeping. I take Kairo’s hand and hold it. His warmth comforts my disquiet thoughts. I wonder what I can do about Sadie, how I can show her how easy and beautiful life can be. I think of Heal and all the lessons he has already learnt and those he will face as he grows. Buiy and Fah bring a slight smile to my face as I picture their innocence, happy to be cuddled and loved by all those around them. My mind turns to Kairo, my companion of many years, my best friend, and joy fills my heart. 

Soon I start to feel my face relax, my body sag and sink into the hard mattress below. I think to myself, ‘I am fading away.’ Then life starts to talk to me, telling me that my time has passed, like the clouds that fill the sky, life has to drift away. I had lived my life and now it is over. No goodbyes. No more attempts at sustaining the body and life I cannot keep, as it’s not mine to own. I float further and further on to another place, towards another lifetime. I cannot fight.

I breathe my last breath; it is sweet, gentle and beautiful. The sweetest air I have ever tasted and my eyes close.

****************

Afterword

Only Kairo, Buiy, Fah, Peto and myself, Heal, live in B- now. Time passes on in B-; Simta soon joined Tanga in heaven. His dying wish was that I would take over the chemist and further the training of other students in health and medicine. I have set up a scheme to encourage students to follow in my footsteps. I am now a trained Doctor and have extended the shop to include a practice; I treat the whole village.

Buiy and Fah are still studying. In their spare time they look after Kairo who is weaker than he once was. Sometimes we hear him talk to Tanga in the house, late at night we hear his voice in deep conversation though we know no one is there.

Sadie completed her studies; she now lives in the nearby city of T- with her husband and visits regularly.

The figure of Peto sitting outside his stall is still a usual site for the village of B-. He strums his guitar, speaks to the locals and, with the help of assistants, sells his wares to the community.

Life moves on, new babies are born and there are more weddings to celebrate.

The dead watch over and guard the little village of B-.


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