Inner Shaman Adventures - Lunar Loveliness

When I was young I would lie on my bed and allow the moon's rays to grace my naked body - I would be a willing recipient to nature's feminine. From the moon I learned what it means to be feminine - reflection, emanation, magnetism, subtlety and  mysteriousness. There would be dark times of fear but there she was, always shining on me with love. I was always safe in the knowledge she would visit me again.

As a woman of the sea, I have always felt a strong connection to the moon, and have always understood her strong and deep pull on earth and our human bodies. Though I no longer have such easy access to the water around me, this weekend, during the lunar eclipse, I connected with other lovers of the moon and the wildness she provokes in me as recompense.

On Sunday night I met with a group of people living in my area and we meditated together, riding the wave of energy emitted. After, we sat on Wimbledon Common, the sky was so clear and together we gazed at the moon whilst she contemplated us. The sight was so lovely to behold and for a while we were in awe. However, time passed and the group dissipated until it was only this Greek woman and I sitting. I started to sing quietly.

She said, 'You have a lovely voice. Sing for me.'

I sang, 'Shiva Shambo' and after a while she joined in. Two strangers united under a powerful celestial body singing to Shiva to destroy all that isn't what we truly are. When we finished she asked me, 'What does it mean?' I explained. She said, 'I am glad I am not the only crazy person tonight rejoicing.' We hugged and I left her meditating alone.

I put on my alarm and woke up in the middle of the night to see the moon outside my window - a mixture of blood red and darkness - so different to what I had left in the park. 

I'm not an astrologer, nor do I indulge in fear mongering, but I have read a few articles that talk about the lunar eclipse, specifically about relationships and our relationship with ourselves - balancing the masculine and feminine within and without so we are neither too aggressive or too passive.

This full moon has reminded me I have been passive about a certain relationship for too long. Every month the moon has told me this but somehow it has taken the eclipse to wake me up.

The blood red and darkness is a symbol of my own moontime, which generally coincides with the brightest moon rays. The deep feminine within me calling forth and this time cannot be ignored.

On Monday I walked to see the Shaman. I sat in a circle with old/new friends and strangers, she asked us what we wanted to let go of - she asked us to write it on a piece of paper. My list was long. I wanted to let go of all that doesn't serve me anymore. I understood the passiveness I have exhibited is no longer serving me and I have realised is also detrimental to his own growth as he no longer is able to respect the feminine within me.

She asked, 'What is your intention?'

I told her, 'My intention is to let go of fear in my heart and bring in love.'

I pulled the card, 'Integration' - I know I am still integrating the experiences I learned from my Ayahuasca experience and I was told then what I needed to do. This card reinforced this.

The Shaman pulled us together and took us under and we journeyed together using the power of the moon and it became so clear to me. 

My heart asked me, 'Is the situation serving you any longer?' 

I replied, 'No, not in it's current state.'

My heart said, 'Let go in love. Everything is perfect as it is, so why fear?'

I asked her, 'What do I need to do?'

My heart laughed, 'Your sadhana.'

We came out of the journey and took our cards as our guide. I pulled, 'Sorrow'. I looked at the Shaman, perplexed. She said to me, the picture of the card is the monk, Ananda, crying. He served Buddha for 40 years so Buddha could do his work and during this time Ananda never became enlightened. When the Buddha died, Ananda cried continuously, everyone thought he was sad because the Buddha was no longer in his body but actually he was crying because Buddha had died and he still hadn't attained enlightenment. After a while Ananda soon had the realisation that he had served the Buddha to serve Buddha and he didn't do it to try and attain, he did it as the truest expression of himself. With that thought, he attained. The card is about serving just to serve, without any expectation in return. I just need to be true to who I am and trust that all will be right with the world. 

'Everything is perfect as it is, so why fear?'

Afterwards, we walked down to the river. My friend Ashok made my piece of paper into a boat and I sailed my fears down the river; in the company of friends and under the wise gaze of a moon who understands the darkness of fear and the brightness of love.

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You can find my adventures in Shamanism here: Inner Shaman Adventures