Finding my Inner Shaman - Part 5

This week was about the throat chakra and speaking our truth. The Shaman said that when she knows she needs to say something and speak her truth, she will ask the universe to create the space and perfect moment so the other person is able to hear what is being said. She said we can do the same.

The Shaman went around the group and asked everyone how their weeks had been. She came to me and asked me to share. I spoke of a week filled with anxiety and fear, of panic and pain. I said none of the Shamanic techniques had worked and it was my worst week yet. I had been asking everyone for advice on what to do in with my life and getting no clear answers, which just caused further instability and a lack of trust in myself.

The Shaman tore my words apart and became fierce - telling me truths I did not want to hear, telling me the situation how it is rather than how I would like it to be. I stubbornly resisted. I wanted to cling on to my past, the vision of how things were, I didn't want to embrace change. She said I wasn't undertaking the techniques properly and worst of all, not following my heart. The Shaman said I had started to become empowered but suddenly my ego had taken over and was trying to stop me from reaching my full potential. I felt humbled by her beration.

The Shaman took us on a journey to explore the chakra and for a while I couldn't relate to anything she said, my resistance rose within me like a bubble of rebelliousness. Yet, when she said, 'If you saw yourself walking down the street, what advice would you give yourself?' I knew I needed to explore this. I asked myself, what is the right advice for my situation? And my heart, who I had missed, finally spoke:

  'Fall in love with waiting. If you can fall in love with a man, you can fall in love with the process.'

Suddenly the tension, anxiety and depression started to seep out of me. Tears washed away my pain as I started to surrender to the process and again allowed my heart to open and take care of me. 

The Shaman asked us to visualise people in our minds and speak our truths to them one by one. In my mind he was there and although my head had so many words to say, my heart had only three.

  'I love you'

With that love I realised there was no 'but' or 'and' after the sentence - there were no conditions attached. Whatever the decision that is made between us in June I knew I would be fine.

At the end of the session, I pulled the card, 'The Dream' - it was a picture of a woman looking at a fantasy of a man and woman together in a loving relationship. I asked the Shaman what it meant. She said, 'You are in love with the dream, not reality. The reality is that he isn't here. Don't miss the magic of what is available to you whilst he is away.' I said that I wouldn't.

The Shaman said, 'I have a message for you, this situation is triggering a major process of self-discovery for you. All the greatest healers need the deepest wounds.'

The fear has gone.



Finding my Inner Shaman facilitated by: http://www.rebekahshaman.com/

You can read more about my Inner Shaman Adventures: Gracie's Shamanic adventures


Follow me here...
Twitter: Gracie's Twitter Page
Facebook: Gracie's FB page
Google +: Gracie's Google + page

..................................

 

Question: What is the difference between love and devotion?

What you call as love, if you are not devoted to the person whom you love, there is really no love; it is only a mutual benefit scheme. When you truly love somebody, you will naturally be devoted; how can you not? One, who does not know devotion to the one he loves, does not know love at all. Then it is just a socially picked up word - because everybody is saying “I love you”, you are also saying it. Love has conditions attached to it. Only if your expectations are fulfilled, your love affair will continue, otherwise it will end. Devotion is not like that. It is unconditional. Love also genuinely becomes a fulfilling and life nurturing process for anyone only when it is unconditional. The moment it is conditional, it becomes a transaction. Human transactions at the physical, emotional and intellectual levels are often referred to as love. “You fulfil my need; I will fulfil your need.” It is just useful; it is utilitarian. People do not like to see it that way because it makes their lives ugly. So they want to give it a beautiful name, so they call it ‘love’. Observe this at places of worship: What people think is devotion to God might not in fact be so. Here, too, there is a transaction. You do whatever you think God expects you to do, and then God is supposed to do many other things for you. This is deal making, and an unfair one. Love and devotion, however, are not two different things, but people still do tend to see them as being separate because one is meant for a higher purpose and another is expected to fulfil a daily need. But there is no need to separate the two. Love is devotion and devotion is love. Without love, how can anybody be devout? Just because you have ascribed to yourself a certain religion or faith, you don’t instantly become a devotee - a devotee is just drawn. A devotee is never thinking in terms of his own well-being. Only one who can look beyond his own well-being can be a devotee. You cannot cultivate devotion. Cultivated devotion is deception. When you are overwhelmed by something, you will naturally be devoted to it. It takes experience for devotion to be natural. When you plant a rose plant, you don’t try to get a flower out of it immediately. You just nurture it. When it is sufficiently nurtured, it will blossom forth. So devotion is like a flower. It is not something that you try to do. If you dig into the earth, you will not find a flower or fruit, but it all comes from there; the plant is only a passage from earth to flower. The fragrant flower does not display any trace of soil, manure or water - it is devoid of all that. Devotion is devoid of you. When you become just a conduit for life, you become an outpouring of devotion. No one has ever achieved anything of significance in any sphere of life without being devoted to what he is doing. Devotion is not only the sweetest way to be, but also the most intelligent way to be, as a devotee effortlessly perceives what one of intellect will struggle with for a lifetime.

 Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev