As I left Jersey with memories of
nephew hugs and familial harmony, I focused on an important step in my journey
to becoming the independent self-sufficient woman I wanted to fall in love
with. I had decided that I was going to a festival, and luckily for me
some of the loveliest women on this planet wanted to come along for the
entertainment. My housemate and I had spent a fun-filled evening the week
before reclaiming our independence by cashing in at the sales, as both of us
lost our camping gear from our respective break-ups, and we were ready to take
Sussex by storm and enter the wild.
On the Friday evening we sat together
in the Tibetan café as the sun set. My friend pulled out the Zen Osho Tarot pack and all
four of us took a card for the weekend. I chose, 'The Rebel' and sat with what
the card meant for me. I understood it to mean that I needed to follow my
intuition and decide what was best for me, so I made a pledge to only do what
resonated, even if that meant going solo at times.
Throughout Saturday I dipped in and out
of workshops, with and without my friends, joining what appealed to me. There
was a new workshop listed that hadn’t been on the timetable, it was about magnetizing love in our lives. As
cringe worthy as the workshop title suggested, my intuition told me to attend. I
asked my friends if they wanted to come but all of them found something else
that was more in alignment with their journeys.
I went to the workshop and the facilitator spoke
about the unconscious needy energy we transmit when with a possible person who
we are having or want a relationship with. She spoke about how this stems from
our hurt inner child and how by healing him or her we would be able to work on
our own inner happiness whilst simultaneously working on manifesting the type
of adult relationship we wanted. She worked with us on different processes to
help heal and then manifest. After the workshop I felt very emotional and realised
there were areas of my life I had been neglecting.
Since the workshop, I continued to use
the processes for healing and manifesting a man who would be committed, willing
to grow, and equal me on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual planes.
I even booked an appointment to see her for a 1:1 appointment and together we
helped to clear much of the debris of my past so I could fashion the new into
my life.
She stated to me, ‘You will find love
again.’
‘I hope so,’ I replied.
‘I know so,’ she told me.
As the evening drew on and night
appeared, I began to grow tired and left my friends before midnight to sleep.
The next morning I awoke to stories and experiences I had missed out on during
the night and felt bad that I had followed my intuition of sleeping and resting
my soul after a full day. However, I had woken up refreshed and early and
carried on attending the various workshops over the course of the day, and soon
felt excited about the learning ahead.
In the afternoon I walked over to my
friends as they finished the Tai-Chi class, hoping to find out what they were planning to do. Neither of them could decide and I
saw the tent was filling up again for the next workshop.
'What's on now?'
'It's the Energy Sex workshop.'
'You're kidding, right?' and
started laughing, thinking about all our WhatsApp conversations the weeks
before, joking about what an Energy Sex workshop could mean.
Both of my friends decided they needed
to find sustenance after their class and wanted to leave but I was curious to
know more. When I sat down a girl was next to me but when I opened my eyes
after the first meditation I saw that she had also disappeared.
I was alone.
But I stayed.
Like the rebel that I am.
We went through different exercises
where we needed to work on various stages of the masculine and feminine, and
then she asked us to stand in front of people and focus on our different
chakras. She asked us to look into their eyes and
then notice if there was any movement in our base, heart or third eye chakras
and whether we were attracted, repelled or wanted to stand alongside that
person. We spent a few minutes doing this and although I felt much in my heart
and third eye, nothing was happening in my base. I concluded that my base
chakra was dead and I would never feel sexual energy for a human being again!
Towards the end of the workshop, the
facilitator said to us that we needed to make sure we did the last part of the
workshop with someone we would want to do this with as we would be working with
them for 15 minutes. When she said this I felt a slight sense of panic, it was
almost like a, ‘I might be the last person picked in the team’ situation as I
knew nobody in the tent, and I was also worried that I might meet someone who
repelled, or was repelled by, me and the 15 minutes would be interminable.
I looked around the tent, in the milieu
of people, and I saw in front of me two women allowing a gorgeous man with dark hair and a beard to walk between
and away from them and in my general direction. He wasn’t looking at me,
more at the floor, so I bent down to catch his attention.
‘Would you like
to..?’
He looked at me, nodded and
agreed.
We sat down in front of each other and
clarified our positions, he said he would take on the masculine role and I
agreed that I wanted to be the feminine, and then we started looking into each
other’s eyes - I stared into his hazel greens and he into my hazel browns.
People around us were still talking for
a period of time and after a while he asked me, ‘Are we supposed to be
talking?’
‘I don’t think so...’ I replied.
So we remained silent and kept staring.
The facilitator said something I didn’t
catch and I asked him to repeat what she said. He said that some people could
adjust their positions in a way that established couples would find
comfortable – more entwined and intimate. I nodded and knew we wouldn’t do
that. We remained as we were, sitting cross legged, not touching, with our hands
on our own legs. Whilst we continued to stare into each other’s eyes, the room
quietened.
And the process began.
The facilitator asked the feminine to
pull energy from the base chakra and then bring the energy up the spine and
push it out through the heart. The masculine was to pull the energy from the
heart and then push it down their spine and out through the base
chakra. This was to keep a cycle of energy moving between us.
As we had been working on our chakras I
could feel the energy moving very easily from my base to my heart and I worked
conscientiously on pulling and pushing the energy in a free flow. At first it
felt a little laborious, like learning a new skill. Yet after a period of time,
I could feel his energy pushing into me and it started to feel natural to let
it flow to my heart and back into him. Both of us felt the build up of energy,
physically our pupils enlarged and we became warmer, at times we smiled at one another
as the feeling became stronger and stronger until I felt like we were encased
in a bubble.
The facilitator said that if we wanted
to adjust our positions we could and he asked if he could sit closer. I agreed. He opened his legs and placed his feet just behind my knees. I
remained cross legged. Without touching we were sitting in a more intimate way
and the energy continued to build between us until it felt intoxicating.
At the end of the session, we were
asked to thank each other and, as clumsy as I am, I went to hug and almost fell
on him. He caught and hugged me back and then said, ‘Would you like to explore
this? Would you like to go for a chai?’
I wondered about the rapidity of
manifestation, said yes and collected my stuff.
So back in the Tibetan café we sat and
drank almond chai. We asked each other questions and our enthusiasm grew as we
realised how much we had in common. We then interspersed words with moments of
just sitting and looking into one another’s eyes, continuing to experience the
energy that circled us. After we left the café I noticed it was
getting dark and asked if he would mind if we could meet later as I had to go
to my tent and get my torch and warmer clothes.
Later we met again and he asked me
where I would like to go. I asked if we could head into the woods and so we
walked into the darkness – walking and talking, learning about each other.
Somehow, I have a stigmatism in one of my eyes which means I cannot see in the
dark very well, so he guided me deeper into the darkness until we came upon a
yurt. We thought it was a meditation yurt but there was a family in there. We
found a singing bowl and took turns to try and play it and then we found some
sage at the altar so burned it and smudged one another.
At first we spoke to the family but
soon we became immersed in the energy we had created and were sitting,
vibing off one another, eager to learn more, and he frequently kept touching my
leg as if to make sure I was real. After a while a couple turned up and said
the yurt was theirs and they were returning to bed. He asked them about the
yurt and the couple gave tips on creating the strongest
structure and then we wished them a good night.
We soon found ourselves in a small, romantic
alcove filled with trees draped in blue fairy lights. A throne was built there,
so we sat next to each other and carried on talking and touching, exchanging
electric energy, potent chemistry and familiar words. My body was responding in
ways that had long lain dormant and I knew then that my base chakra hadn’t
died! I also silently thanked myself for having a proper sleep the night before
so I would be refreshed to experience this important night.
I stroked his lion-maned hair, wrapped
up in a bun, and his bearded face. He touched my leg and after a while I
pulled his face closer to mine, drew him to me and kissed him. At first he was
hesitant, slow, unsure, but as I wrapped myself around him I felt the force of
his passion behind his lips. Enmeshed and entwined, like the established
couples in the Energy Sex workshop, we wrapped ourselves in a gorgeous haze of
energy, limbs, words, touch, taste, branches, blue fairy lights and darkness.
To learn more about Dakini Cat's great work, check out her website here: www.dakinicat.co.uk
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