Into the Wild - Blog Post

As I left Jersey with memories of nephew hugs and familial harmony, I focused on an important step in my journey to becoming the independent self-sufficient woman I wanted to fall in love with. I had decided that I was going to a festival, and luckily for me some of the loveliest women on this planet wanted to come along for the entertainment. My housemate and I had spent a fun-filled evening the week before reclaiming our independence by cashing in at the sales, as both of us lost our camping gear from our respective break-ups, and we were ready to take Sussex by storm and enter the wild.  

On the Friday evening we sat together in the Tibetan café as the sun set. My friend pulled out the Zen Osho Tarot pack and all four of us took a card for the weekend. I chose, 'The Rebel' and sat with what the card meant for me. I understood it to mean that I needed to follow my intuition and decide what was best for me, so I made a pledge to only do what resonated, even if that meant going solo at times.

Throughout Saturday I dipped in and out of workshops, with and without my friends, joining what appealed to me. There was a new workshop listed that hadn’t been on the timetable, it was about magnetizing love in our lives. As cringe worthy as the workshop title suggested, my intuition told me to attend. I asked my friends if they wanted to come but all of them found something else that was more in alignment with their journeys.

I went to the workshop and the facilitator spoke about the unconscious needy energy we transmit when with a possible person who we are having or want a relationship with. She spoke about how this stems from our hurt inner child and how by healing him or her we would be able to work on our own inner happiness whilst simultaneously working on manifesting the type of adult relationship we wanted. She worked with us on different processes to help heal and then manifest. After the workshop I felt very emotional and realised there were areas of my life I had been neglecting. 

Since the workshop, I continued to use the processes for healing and manifesting a man who would be committed, willing to grow, and equal me on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual planes. I even booked an appointment to see her for a 1:1 appointment and together we helped to clear much of the debris of my past so I could fashion the new into my life. 

She stated to me, ‘You will find love again.’

  ‘I hope so,’ I replied.

  ‘I know so,’ she told me.

As the evening drew on and night appeared, I began to grow tired and left my friends before midnight to sleep. The next morning I awoke to stories and experiences I had missed out on during the night and felt bad that I had followed my intuition of sleeping and resting my soul after a full day. However, I had woken up refreshed and early and carried on attending the various workshops over the course of the day, and soon felt excited about the learning ahead.

In the afternoon I walked over to my friends as they finished the Tai-Chi class, hoping to find out what they were planning to do. Neither of them could decide and I saw the tent was filling up again for the next workshop.

  'What's on now?'

  'It's the Energy Sex workshop.'

  'You're kidding, right?' and started laughing, thinking about all our WhatsApp conversations the weeks before, joking about what an Energy Sex workshop could mean. 

Both of my friends decided they needed to find sustenance after their class and wanted to leave but I was curious to know more. When I sat down a girl was next to me but when I opened my eyes after the first meditation I saw that she had also disappeared.

I was alone.

But I stayed.

Like the rebel that I am.

We went through different exercises where we needed to work on various stages of the masculine and feminine, and then she asked us to stand in front of people and focus on our different chakras. She asked us to look into their eyes and then notice if there was any movement in our base, heart or third eye chakras and whether we were attracted, repelled or wanted to stand alongside that person. We spent a few minutes doing this and although I felt much in my heart and third eye, nothing was happening in my base. I concluded that my base chakra was dead and I would never feel sexual energy for a human being again!

Towards the end of the workshop, the facilitator said to us that we needed to make sure we did the last part of the workshop with someone we would want to do this with as we would be working with them for 15 minutes. When she said this I felt a slight sense of panic, it was almost like a, ‘I might be the last person picked in the team’ situation as I knew nobody in the tent, and I was also worried that I might meet someone who repelled, or was repelled by, me and the 15 minutes would be interminable.  

I looked around the tent, in the milieu of people, and I saw in front of me two women allowing a gorgeous man with dark hair and a beard to walk between and away from them and in my general direction. He wasn’t looking at me, more at the floor, so I bent down to catch his attention.

   ‘Would you like to..?’ 

He looked at me, nodded and agreed. 

We sat down in front of each other and clarified our positions, he said he would take on the masculine role and I agreed that I wanted to be the feminine, and then we started looking into each other’s eyes - I stared into his hazel greens and he into my hazel browns. 

People around us were still talking for a period of time and after a while he asked me, ‘Are we supposed to be talking?’

  ‘I don’t think so...’ I replied.

So we remained silent and kept staring.

The facilitator said something I didn’t catch and I asked him to repeat what she said. He said that some people could adjust their positions in a way that established couples would find comfortable – more entwined and intimate. I nodded and knew we wouldn’t do that. We remained as we were, sitting cross legged, not touching, with our hands on our own legs. Whilst we continued to stare into each other’s eyes, the room quietened. 

And the process began.

The facilitator asked the feminine to pull energy from the base chakra and then bring the energy up the spine and push it out through the heart. The masculine was to pull the energy from the heart and then push it down their spine and out through the base chakra. This was to keep a cycle of energy moving between us. 

As we had been working on our chakras I could feel the energy moving very easily from my base to my heart and I worked conscientiously on pulling and pushing the energy in a free flow. At first it felt a little laborious, like learning a new skill. Yet after a period of time, I could feel his energy pushing into me and it started to feel natural to let it flow to my heart and back into him. Both of us felt the build up of energy, physically our pupils enlarged and we became warmer, at times we smiled at one another as the feeling became stronger and stronger until I felt like we were encased in a bubble. 

The facilitator said that if we wanted to adjust our positions we could and he asked if he could sit closer. I agreed. He opened his legs and placed his feet just behind my knees. I remained cross legged. Without touching we were sitting in a more intimate way and the energy continued to build between us until it felt intoxicating. 

At the end of the session, we were asked to thank each other and, as clumsy as I am, I went to hug and almost fell on him. He caught and hugged me back and then said, ‘Would you like to explore this? Would you like to go for a chai?’

I wondered about the rapidity of manifestation, said yes and collected my stuff.

So back in the Tibetan café we sat and drank almond chai. We asked each other questions and our enthusiasm grew as we realised how much we had in common. We then interspersed words with moments of just sitting and looking into one another’s eyes, continuing to experience the energy that circled us. After we left the café I noticed it was getting dark and asked if he would mind if we could meet later as I had to go to my tent and get my torch and warmer clothes. 

Later we met again and he asked me where I would like to go. I asked if we could head into the woods and so we walked into the darkness – walking and talking, learning about each other. Somehow, I have a stigmatism in one of my eyes which means I cannot see in the dark very well, so he guided me deeper into the darkness until we came upon a yurt. We thought it was a meditation yurt but there was a family in there. We found a singing bowl and took turns to try and play it and then we found some sage at the altar so burned it and smudged one another. 

At first we spoke to the family but soon we became immersed in the energy we had created and were sitting, vibing off one another, eager to learn more, and he frequently kept touching my leg as if to make sure I was real. After a while a couple turned up and said the yurt was theirs and they were returning to bed. He asked them about the yurt and the couple gave tips on creating the strongest structure and then we wished them a good night.

We soon found ourselves in a small, romantic alcove filled with trees draped in blue fairy lights. A throne was built there, so we sat next to each other and carried on talking and touching, exchanging electric energy, potent chemistry and familiar words. My body was responding in ways that had long lain dormant and I knew then that my base chakra hadn’t died! I also silently thanked myself for having a proper sleep the night before so I would be refreshed to experience this important night.

I stroked his lion-maned hair, wrapped up in a bun, and his bearded face. He touched my leg and after a while I pulled his face closer to mine, drew him to me and kissed him. At first he was hesitant, slow, unsure, but as I wrapped myself around him I felt the force of his passion behind his lips. Enmeshed and entwined, like the established couples in the Energy Sex workshop, we wrapped ourselves in a gorgeous haze of energy, limbs, words, touch, taste, branches, blue fairy lights and darkness.

To learn more about Dakini Cat's great work, check out her website here: www.dakinicat.co.uk 

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