Finding my Inner Shaman - Part 4

The Shaman spoke again today – she introduced us to the heart chakra and asked us what love we had within. She spoke about the core message of listening to our hearts and the implications if we do not.

‘What does loving yourself mean? What blockages, thoughts and emotions are getting in the way?’

We thought deeply on this and answered what lay in our hearts.

The Shaman asked me, ‘What did you do this week?’ 

I recalled the painful defining experience of telling him he had a month to make a decision about us. In the third week of our course, during my journey, my inner self had told me I needed to place boundaries and stick to them and to not always bend backwards to accommodate. These are my steps to realising who I am, understanding and expressing my self-respect and self-worth, which has prompted me to start placing boundaries in my life in an area I was so afraid to touch.

I told her, ‘I have taken back control in a situation where I was out of control. Whatever the outcome in June – I need to be at a place where I am happy either way.’

I pulled the card, ‘Maturity’ – the universe congratulating me on doing the right thing, that I am finally (FINALLY) becoming emotionally mature.

She took us on a journey, I fell in and out of consciousness as my heart lotus bloomed and told me her secrets, messages and guidance.

I asked my heart, ‘What do I need to do? Tell me.’

She said, ‘Trust me, darling.’

I heard Kahlil Gibran’s words reverberate through me, ‘When love beckons to you, follow him / Though his ways are hard and steep.’

She said, ‘Though my decisions are confusing, and can sometimes be painful, ultimately they are right and one day you will see. You will see the bigger plan and feel gratitude for the path you’re on.’

She said, ‘Can you think of time when you listened to me?’

I remembered a time when I sat underneath a Ghanaian sky and was whispered by my heart a decision to travel India alone. I realised how that whole journey in India was heart driven – I was so protected and guided by the wise ones that continually watch over me.

‘Listen to me, darling. I know what’s best.’

She told me that I have gone through so much and I keep powering on as if I have something to prove. I don’t need to do anything, anymore. Just be. Give myself some time and peace – nurture myself and allow myself to heal.

The Shaman said, ‘What do you deserve?’

My heart told me, ‘You deserve a man who wants to be in your life and who is willing and proud to walk the path of love with you. He will be a man who will follow love’s path even though it can be ‘hard and steep’. He is not afraid of being vulnerable and he will open up to you and laugh his loudest laugh and cry his most delicate tears. Now is the time to meditate and strengthen your heart.’

I asked, ‘But what about him?’

My heart replied, ‘He will find his way back to you.’

I visualised one of my heart’s true desires – a relationship with a man who was walking his path but willing to have me walk beside him as his equal.

After the journey, I pulled the card, ‘Consciousness’. The universe telling me I need to remain conscious of the insights I am receiving.

The Shaman told us, ‘No more compromising your heart over the ego. Stand in your power!’

Finding my Inner Shaman facilitated by: http://www.rebekahshaman.com/

You can read more about my Inner Shaman Adventures: Gracie's Shamanic adventures


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Kahlil Gibran’s thoughts on love – taken from, ‘The Prophet’

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.